[Oslc-steeringcommittee] Confidential Draft OASIS Press Release
Ersch, Rainer
rainer.ersch at siemens.com
Thu May 16 18:10:17 EDT 2013
Hi Carol and StC team,
I had a look at the press release proposal and I like it very much.
There is one thing I would like to propose a change: from my point of view there is a bit too much of “tool integration” rather than “integration of lifecycle data”. At least in the subtitle, I’d propose to change “Initiative for Integrating Software Lifecycle Tools” to “Initiative to standardize the way how Software Lifecycle Tools share data” or similar (I have to trust you native speakers to make proper English out of that). I just realized that this is now almost the wording of the first sentence, which would be o.k. for me, but could be improved also from a writing style point of view as well.
Minor other remarks:
On the last sentence of the first paragraph: “Several OASIS OSLC TCs are planned for launch …”. People not so familiar with OASIS might not know what TCs are. Maybe an add-on “to work on the existing and future specifications” would clarify that.
On the last sentence of the second paragraph: “…eliminates … barriers to software integration”. From my point of view, with OSLC we don’t shot for software integration in general (maybe Linked Data Platform does), but shouldn’t we say “…eliminates … barriers to software Lifecycle Data integration” (to avoid another “tool integration”).
Please let me know what you think and feel free to change my proposal.
One another note: Siemens will probably not be able to provide a quote in time. Mainly my fault, because I simply don’t have the time to execute our release process for such a quote. Sorry for that, for now we have to live with being only listed in the banner.
Bye and have a nice day
Rainer
From: Oslc-steeringcommittee [mailto:oslc-steeringcommittee-bounces at open-services.net] On Behalf Of Carol Geyer
Sent: Thursday, May 16, 2013 9:45 PM
To: oslc-steeringcommittee
Subject: [Oslc-steeringcommittee] Confidential Draft OASIS Press Release
Please review the attached draft and suggest any edits you feel are needed.
Thanks,
Carol
--
Carol Geyer
Senior Director of Communications and Development
OASIS | Advancing open standards for the information society
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